A new beginning...

OK...a blog...I know, I know it's very 2003 but considering the constant frustrations and censoring on facebook now I decided to back to basics and start my own blog. You may have noticed the "under 18, adult content" warning which appeared when you clicked initially...this isn't because this is going to a roller-coaster of abuse, sexual innuendos and obscenity but it will be uncensored and therefore not for everyone...idiots may also wish to leave now too ( I am not dumbing down for you) and FYI it's not text speak if the words contain the same amount of letters as the original word it just means you're lazy...or dumb

I can't promise you anything with this blog other than it will be one big facebook status update without the limitation of using 362 characters... I doubt this will go down in literature folk law with works such as the Bible, the Anne Frank Diary or the forth Harry Potter book but I guarantee it will have more swearing than all of them combined...

I have racked up a fair amount of warnings and bans on Facebook over the last few years, I didn't ever go out of my way to accumulate these, it just kinda happened. I am hoping I will be given the freedom to make my own rules on here, if I can't express myself freely on a blogging site then god help me...I will end up having to start up my very own country with it's own rules, flag and everything. Ohhh I wonder what I could have as the national anthem..."Dipply Dippy" by Right Said Fred? Or maybe "I think we're alone now" by Tiffany...either way it's going to be a pretty cool place to live...and have sex

This is the week of my 27th Birthday, had a great start to the week...i.e. not managed to fall over and break my neck yet...however my Birthday is still days away and anything could happen

When I was a wee lad I imagined I would have a wife and kids by the time I was 27. Have my own house, car, a good job...as it stands I am single, rent a house with my mate, a bus pass and a job I can't abide most of the time...I am left to beat off the agony of loneliness by round the clock masturbation...saying that, and I mean this, I wouldn't change anything about my life right now...well apart from the job, the bus pass thing. I am genuinely very happy, most I have been for a long time - Hoooraaaar!

The best thing about having shit birthdays now is that it helps you remember the really good birthdays in your past. Three of them really stick out for me...my eleventh birthday was special...my first ever birthday party, it was on a Saturday and typically it was a "super Nintendo" party (nothing like playing to your strengths)...my friend Donovan got me Home Alone 2 on VHS. It was unwrapped and he pretty much gave it me out of the Woolworths bag...as well as the unwritten card.

My sweet sixteenth was a cool birthday...bowling at the Superbowl in Stirchley...I look so young in the pictures i.e. identical to how I look now...but it was a fun day, nothing really sticks out about it other than I know it was fun and I had a good time...and then there was my 21st...probably the last great birthday for me...free tequila bar, clubbing three nights in a row and plenty of vomit...in fact, comparing birthdays now to that one is just unfair...I doubt many people could have a better time than I did that year, not even George Michael's last birthday came close and he got a blow job off Elton John while snorting coke of Will Young's armpit...pretty much heaven for most healthy homosexuals

It's been a frustrating time recently with the snow and ice...and I know I am the first person to complain about people moaning about the weather but it's getting a bit boring now I think, I mean all those people a week ago "praying" for snow to fall must feel a bit stupid now. My problem is I fall over too much, I end up becoming obsessed with my walk home...where to walk, how to walk, how fast to walk, should I moon walk etc...I am spending half my day plotting the walk to work and the other half plotting my walk home...needless to say I will be the first to celebrate when it's cleared...and the first to kick anyone asking God for more snow!!

These posts will have very little structure to them...so apologies now if they're random and brief...or loooooooong...either way, I recommend you join the site and become a follower...we all know what an attention seeking whore I am...comments, as always, are encouraged...