Day 2 of my blog...I am pretty sure no one actually bothered to read yesterday's entry...hopefully you'll read this and feel the urge to go back and taste yesterday's delights...
anyway, still snowing in Birmingham, I pretty much threw myself to the floor like a stroppy six year old when I looked out of the window this morning and saw God's seaman everywhere...it's so not fair...however, after some self help and psyching up to some music (Charles and Eddie) I have decided to ignore the adverse weather conditions from now on, in fact, when I look out of the window now I see sun soaked beaches, bikini clad women and dogs cruising with their heads hanging out of car windows...
awwww man, look at all that snow!
I was reading a very funny article yesterday about The world's first life-size "robotic girlfiend", unveiled at the Adult Entertainment show in Vegas, it promises a realistic girlfriend experience...her name is Roxxxy, and I can only imagine my parent's faces if I took her home to meet them...
me - "Hi Mum, Hi Dad...I want you to meet Roxxxy"...
mum - "Hi Roxxxy"...
me - "oh hang on a sec Mum, I need to plug her in..."
On reflection though she is quite fit for a robot but there are far too many reasons why I wouldn't buy one...firstly she is 5'7 and far too tall for me, plus she doesn't cook, talk, walk, eat, laugh, move...in fact she is literally just a hole to put your cock in...and while I wish many of my ex's had similar attributes to Roxxxy, I need a little bit more from a potential girlfriend...actually on the flip side she only costs £4000...where's my debit card
while we're on the subject of sex...I heard this guy on the bus today talking about how he "fucked" his girlfriend for over 2 hours last night...all men know this man is lying...2 hours?!!? I don't think if you added up my entire sexual history it would come to 2 hours, in fact, I am good for 2 - 3 minutes good fucking then I need 8 hours sleep and a full English breakfast before I am ready to go again...I am kind praying I am not on my own with this one...
speaking about excessive amounts of sex...I was reading the other day that China, in 2008, had a population of over 1.3 billion people...it equates to over 20% of the entire world's population in a single country...that's literally generations of shagging!!...which leads to me asking the question...who counted the mother fuckers?!
I can imagine it now...
Yu - "one million, three hundred thousand, six....Hey Chu, did you count the guy in the red jumper?"
Chu - "oh shit...."
Yu - "one, two, three..."
The sheer density of the country's population is probably a good enough reason why nobody wants to start a fight with China, imagine 1.3 billion people waiting outside a pub for you to finish your drink and head off home...
On a serious note China intends to do a recount next year and expect the population to be tipping the 2 billion mark...surely it's the right time for Durex to start promoting their condoms there?
3 days until my birthday now...to say I am getting excited would be a understatement...there are a few parts to this years birthday I am looking forward too...most notably getting to finally see Avatar in 3D at the Imax is pretty much my idea of heaven and no doubt I will have an erection throughout the entire length of the movie...I have heard some pretty good things about it, however I am hoping it doesn't live up to one guy's review who described it as "giant smurfs in 3D" I will be very disappointed if that was the case...
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